Review: Nash(Marked Men #4), by Jay Crownover

01nas “Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in the world.”-Lucille Ball

It’s hard to believe I waited so long to jump into this Marked Men series. But as I read the first three, I knew Nash’s story was going to be heartbreaking and emotional. And I also knew that he would need someone very special to hold on to him. I’m glad to see I was right.

Right from the start, this book got me. When I read the Dedication and Introduction, I knew I was going to love this book. And then I got to the Prologue and I was immediately thrust back into high school and then I knew how hard this book was going to be on me.

Nash was the best friend you could ever ask for. He was always giving of himself. He would do anything for those who loved him. In truth, he would do just about anything for love. After growing up, in a house that showed him no love, only cruel and hurtful words, he tried to find love in every place imaginable. He thought he was unworthy of it.

Saint Ford is a successful ER nurse who was not expecting to run into the man who, as a young teenager, destroyed her self esteem and self worth, without even knowing it. She wants nothing to do with him. He may not remember the hurt, but she does. But being a caring nurse, she can’t help wanting to be there for him, when his uncle Phil is brought into her ER.

My heart went out to Saint. The low self esteem and the teasing, as a teenager, I could totally relate with. And then when your crush is the one who causes the most damage to you, well, let’s just say, most of us have been there. So to have those feeling shape you, all the way to adulthood, it’s going to take a very strong person to make you realize how great you really are.

“All I can see is you. Why can’t you understand that? No one shines as bright as you in the sky I’m looking at. To me there is no sun, no moon, and no stars in the sky, just endless miles of storm clouds and pretty pretty grey.”

As Nash’s world, as he thought he knew it, starts changing and pushing at him from all sides, he wishes he could cling to Saint. But she still has feelings of inadequacy, and it will take a lot of patience and a very awkward moment to bring her right where he wants, and needs, her to be.

Learning to love yourself, and realizing that you are worthy of having someone love you in return, are very hard lessons. Everyone is worthy of love, no matter what their past may show.

“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”-Buddha


Buy Nash: A Marked Men Novel